Monday, August 18, 2008

Perfect husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$390,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $2,950,000' for it.

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $150,000 if it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

Joke: brother-in-law

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun. I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relative?" the nun questioned sternly. Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."

Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Foreign currency deposit rates

Dear Sir,
Currently the FD rates offered by banks in Singapore are 1% or less. I have just opened an Australian Foreign Currency Fixed Deposit that gives me 7+% per annum.

I have no intention to convert the money back to Singapore Dollars in the forseeable future. the money is kept aside for retirement. Would this be a way for Singaporeans to save. Has interest rates in Australia ever gone down to levels similar to Singapore?

REPLY
I suggest that you ask your bank to give this information to you. They have the past record of currency conversion rates and interest rates.